The Bonds of Friendship
by randomdork11
Summary: After a row with her sister, Lily Evans finds herself face to face with her former best friend. Can these two reconcile their differences or are they doomed to fall apart?


_A/N: Yet another one-shot plot has driven me away from completing my other works. But when it comes to Lily and Sev, I usually can't say no. Hope you guys enjoy!_

Logically she knew that there were people in the world worse than Petunia, but at the moment Lily Evans was having a difficult time thinking of anyone. The sweltering summer heat did little to stop her desperate dash to solitude. There was only one place she wanted to be right now and since Hogwarts was so far away the spot would just have to do.

She and a currently unmentionable someone had long ago christened the spot as their haven. Shrouded by trees the little clearing lay close enough to the river to offer a rare bit of coolness on even the hottest summer days. The spot was sacred, had been for years now. A place that was undeniably theirs. But for the moment it would have to be hers alone. Brushing way tears the redhead stubbornly stomped away to sulk in peace.

However upon arrival and we found her a place of solitude already occupied. Fear gripped Lily first as she looked down upon the tangled mass of rags and limbs. Terrified that she stumbled upon one of the nameless faces that haunted the rivers shores Lily backed away slowly. She'd gone unseen until the snapping of a twig under her foot alerted the other person to her presence. Yet the face that turn to her wasn't as unfamiliar as she'd originally believed.

"Sev," she exclaimed before remembering that she shouldn't be so excited to see him. "You frightened me," she tried again in a far colder tone.

Black eyes narrowed between curtains of greasy hair as the boys slowly sat himself up. As she calmed down and took a better look at her friend, she realized just how bad things were. A large cut ran across his right cheek creating a rather nasty bruise that extended down to his jaw line. She could see several bruises lining is forearms as well. The neck of his shirt had a large hole ripped into it through which she could see even more bruising. The awkward way he was sitting made Lily think he might be in quite a bit of pain.

"What are you doing here Evans?" Snape sneered.

His tone infuriated the red-head like nothing else. _Where does he get off talking to me like_ that, she thought? Allowing her indignation to shine through she retorted with a question of her own. "So, it's Evan's now huh?"

His answering shrug and subsequent hiss of pain at the movement answered at least one of her questions. Silence stretched between them in a way that it never had before. Gone was the easy comfort and effortless conversations. What lie between them now was as unfamiliar as it was awkward. She hadn't seen Sev- Snape since he'd tried to catch up to her on the Hogwarts Express at the end of term. All summer long she'd been avoiding their usual haunts and avoiding her parent's probing questions.

If she was honest with herself, Lily would have admitted that it had been the longest summer of her life. In those last months at Hogwarts it had been like she and Se- Snape were speaking different languages. Something in him had changed during their fifth year and she was certain that the change hadn't been for the better. Yet summers usually allowed the two to rekindle their friendship and fix whatever petty issues had risen between them among the halls of school. This summer was different though. He'd chosen his path and Lily refused to support him as he walked it.

However, cutting her best friend out of her life left her feeling as if a part of her was missing. A Severus sized hole haunted her every move during the long summer months. Not even vacationing in Spain or spending time at Mary Macdonald's home had been able to help. She found herself grateful that they'd be leaving for Hogwarts in a few days.

"I came to be alone," Lily blurted in the face of his silence, unable to take her own thoughts any longer.

"Well I'll leave you to it then," Snape answered as he pulled himself slowly to his feet.

He'd lost weight since she'd last seen him at Hogwarts. The usually threadbare clothes that he wore over holidays looked even more tattered as they hung limply from his too thin frame. That coupled with the bruises and labored breathing told her that Snape had been having an even worse summer than her. If he left here, he'd have little choice but to go back home to the bastard who'd left him in such a condition.

Before the thought had fully formed, Lily's mouth made the decision for her. "Wait… don't, you don't have to go." For a split-second Snape's face slipped into something like desperation before he reasserted his self-control and settled for confusion. Noting his struggle, Lily attempted to make the situation less awkward. "You were here first I mean. I'll… I'll just, I'll go."

She almost made it to the edge of the woods before a quiet voice stopped her.

"Wait," Sever- Snape called to her.

Turning back to her former best friend, Lily noted that he was once again losing the battle to keep his emotions in check.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

 _Damn it_ , she thought at the worry for her evident in his voice, _don't fall for it Evans_. "I'm fine," she lied.

"Obviously," Severus answered rolling his eyes. "I can tell by your stormy attitude and the way you stomped in that everything is just fine."

Lily almost laughed, but just managed to keep her composure. "It's really none of your business," she snapped. Unexpectedly, her words hurt her just as much as they'd obviously hurt Severus ( _damn it no, Snape_ , she couldn't fall back into old habits). The crestfallen face that replaced his earlier sarcasm did nothing to assuage her guilt. A few months ago, he'd be the first one she ran to when she had issues with Petunia.

Sighing deeply as she gave into one of her oldest habits, Lily sank to the ground. Folding her arms around her knees she decided that, just for today, she could forget all the other reasons she had to be mad at Severus. "It's Petunia," she began as Severus sat down as well, "she's been insufferable this summer. She has a new boyfriend and is adamant that she shoves just how wonderful he is down my throat."

"Is he wonderful?"

"If you like the boring, obnoxious, desperately ordinary type he might be," she snorted. Hearing a similar sound of disdain from Severus, Lily felt emboldened and continued. "Anyway, Petunia doesn't want me hanging around him too much, lest he get wind of just how 'freakish' I am. Emphasis on the freak."

"She's just jealous Lily. You know that," came the typical response.

"I know… doesn't make it hurt any less."

"You're right. But why does her opinion matter so much anyway? She's ordinary, you… you're…" Severus seemed to struggle for the right words before settling on the most mundane, yet strangely fitting, "extraordinary."

Of course, Severus couldn't understand why she so valued the opinion of a muggle. He didn't understand just how painful it could be to have someone you love call you such horrid things. "She's my sister. It matters, because family isn't supposed to act like this."

"Yeah well family is overrated sometimes," he said darkly.

Taking in the clearing for the first time, Lily noticed a ratty old blanket and Severus's old coat wrapped into a ball at the base of the tree he was leaning on. "Did you sleep here last night?" His quick look at the ground and the slight coloring of his cheeks answered that question well enough. "Why haven't you healed yourself? Surely you have a potion or know a spell to set everything to rights?" Lily asked worriedly.

A dark glint appeared in already black eyes. "I can have my wand and school stuff back when we get to the platform and not a moment before."

Walking over and sitting down against the tree next to him, Lily sighed. "What did he do this time?" Several moments passed in silence as Severus gave her his typical, _you're not going to like what I'm about to say_ face. "Just tell me, Snape."

"He and mum were having another shouting match when I got home last night. When he saw me, I guess he decided it was time for another diatribe on why I shouldn't be allowed back at 'that school.' I told him where he could shove his opinion and he for some reason he took offense to that." The smallest of twitches at the corner of his mouth told Lily he'd been quite creative with word choice regarding his father's demands. "You can imagine how he took that. Started threatening me and mum, slapped her when she told him she would send me back whether he liked it or not… I got angry. I took out my wand, sent him flying into a wall… Mum got angry at me. Apparently, I deserved whatever he did after that."

Looking over her former friend, she had to disagree with Mrs. Snape. Regardless of how poorly Severus had reacted, he hadn't deserved to face such wrath from his father. But then he never deserved any of the beatings he received at the hands of that man.

"I got a letter from the Ministry," he informed her as his head fell back against the tree. Looking up towards the sky with unseeing eyes, Severus continued. "They threatened to expel me. Mum told them it was an accident of her doing. But she took my wand and school stuff. Locked them in the basement."

"Sev," she responded desperately slipping back into old habits. "This is what I'm talking about. You're letting your anger get the best of you and you're better than that! He isn't worth getting expelled over. Then what would do?"

"So, you want me to just sit around and let him continue to–"

"No! But there are better ways Sev. Maybe if you didn't hang around those horrid people at school, you'd actually be able to see that there are better ways of dealing with your problems than threatening someone or using dark magic!"

Severus's expression turned as dark as his mood. "Those 'horrid people' are the only people who will hang around my friends."

"I wouldn't call them friends, Sev. They're just as quick to turn on you as anyone else." Lily responded as the argument that had been building between them for months finally came to fruition.

"You don't like my friends? What about yours! You hang around with Black and Lupin despite everything that they've done to me. I was supposed to be your best friend."

"Black and Lupin aren't that bad Sev." At his snort of exasperation, Lily amended her statement. "Okay Potter and Black can be toerags sometimes but Lupin's down to earth and quiet and smart you might actually like him."

"They tried to kill me Lilly," Severus shouted springing to his feet.

"It was just a prank Sev," Lily responded in kind jumping to her feet as well. "And Potter saved you."

"Saved his friends and it was more than just a prank! If, if you knew what they did-"

"Then tell me."

"I can't," Severus groaned and began pacing agitatedly. "Dumbledore told me not to say anything."

"Then shouldn't say anything," Lily answered primly. Whatever had happened between the self-titled Marauders and Severus hadn't been made school knowledge. Knowing that Dumbledore was the reason behind that made sense. It also explained why the animosity between Severus and the four Gryffindors had grown so much after the incident. The incident Severus had been so tight lipped about.

"Then you shouldn't be so quick to doubt me," Snape snapped.

"Yeah well maybe I wouldn't doubt you as much if you didn't hang around with people that hate me."

"Says the person defending Black, Potter, and Lupin!"

Lost for a reasonable response, Lily settled on the most obvious argument. "Black and Lupin don't go around calling people mudbloods."

"Yes, they're perfectly fine creating their own nicknames."

Completely unable to stop herself, Lily rolled her eyes before bringing them back to topic. "You would never have called me that before you started hanging out with them."

Her dismissal of his point against the Marauders seemed to be some kind of breaking point for Severus. With wild eyes he stalked up to her stopping at arm's length before hurling his next words at her with a desperate sort of pain she'd never seen before. "I would never have called you that if you hadn't laughed."

Lily felt her stomach sink to her feet as she desperately played ignorant. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you Lily! They were humiliating me, and you laughed. My best friend," Severus spat the last words as if they left a bad taste in his mouth. "My best friend laughed at me along with everyone else. Do you have any idea how that felt?"

For the second time that day, Lily felt tears brimming in her eyes. She hadn't meant to, it had been an accident and it hadn't been at him. Severus's harsh words had pushed everything else from that day out of her mind, but she knew he was right. She'd hurt him as much as he'd hurt her.

"I'm," she tried. Yet her mouth had gone dry and it seemed as if all the right words got stuck there, unable to justify her actions or find a suitable amount of anger to continue their argument. "Sev I didn't mean to."

"I didn't mean to call you a Mudblood," he cried. "It just… slipped out. I'd never intentionally hurt you. I wouldn't let them… my 'friends'… I wouldn't let them hurt you either, Lily. You have to know that."

"What makes me so different?" she had to ask, had to know why Severus drew the line for blood supremacy at her feet.

He seemed to struggle with himself for several minutes before finally settling on something. "Because you're the only person who actually cares about me, Lily." His admission was full of defeat and despite being only a few feet in front of her, he seemed to be miles and miles away. "You don't know what it's like. You're popular and beautiful and you have friends. I have Lucius's goodwill and a few people to talk to. I'm just some greasy git of punching bag to everyone else."

He seemed to visibly break in front of her in that moment. As if all the walls he'd spent so many years building crumbled all at once. It wasn't the abject dejectedness that terrified her though, it was the cold resignation that settled into his expression. Stuffing his hands into his pockets he looked down at the ground, seemingly ashamed of his outburst.

"Sev-"

"No, don't give me that 'you're being dramatic' look. It's the truth." Still looking down, he toed at a root sticking out of the ground. "Here, at Hogwarts it doesn't matter, no one cares. Not even you anymore."

Ignoring her inclusion to his list of people who didn't like him, Lily tried to reason with the lost boy in front of her. "Your parents-"

Lily was rewarded with a laugh born of years of bitterness. "My parents think just as little of me as the rest of the world."

"Your dad maybe, but your mum-"

"Lets it happen and takes his side. Lily, I would kill to have a family like yours, hell, I'd even take Petunia. If I was gone tomorrow no one would notice and no one would give half a shit."

Every ounce of will power snapped into tiny pieces at her feet as the brute honesty of his words hit her. How many people would care if he didn't show back up to Hogwarts this year? Her friends hated Severus and never understood why she spent so much time in his company. His friends in Slytherin were just as likely to turn on him as they were to defend him, so they were out as well. The professors would notice and would try to find out where he'd gone, but even then, most of those at the school looked down on him because of his proclivity for trouble and his current associations.

"Sev," she tried but her voice cracked over his name. He kept his eyes locked on the ground. In the end it was more than Lily could take. Lunging forward she wrapped her arms around her best friend. Ignoring his shout of surprise and obvious flinch, she held onto him as if he were the only solid thing left in the world. "I'm sorry. I didn't think… or realize… I'm sorry."

Finally, he wrapped his arms around her in return holding onto to her just as tightly. "I'm so so sorry Lils. I didn't mean it, I swear. I, I just, I don't know… but I'm sorry."

They clung to each other for an indeterminate amount of time. Both apologizing repeatedly as tears began wetting two sets of cheeks.

"I don't want to lose you," Lily admitted softly as she untangled herself from his embrace. "This summer has been awful without you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Severus responded. "I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

A beat passed as they sat back against the large willow tree closest to the bank. An easier silence extended between the two as they slowly found their way back to comfortable.

"So, what now?" Severus asked breaking the silence.

Thinking long and hard, Lily thought she might have something close to an answer for her friend. "I can't support your decision to become a Death Eater. You know that, right?"

Severus loosed a deep breath. "I don't know if I can back out. I don't know if I want to."

His admission was quiet, barely above a whisper, but it was loud enough to break her heart once again. "Sev, you're better than them. How can you follow someone who wants to remove people like me?"

"It's not like that Lils," he tried to explain. "He just wants for wizards to not be forced into hiding. And we shouldn't have to. We're more powerful than them. No witch or wizard should be forced to conceal who they are just to keep the muggles happy. No one with magical talents should have to hide who they are or submit to a muggle, just because the law says they should. It's wrong Lily."

"That doesn't make Voldemort's ideology right!"

"He's the best chance we've got."

"He wants me dead!"

"I would never let that happen Lily. I can keep you safe," he was pleading with her now, begging her not to end their friendship over a difference of ideas.

"I can't support this Sev. I don't know how you can condone everything he's done."

"Because I've experienced first hand just how our secrecy laws negatively impact us! My mum can't defend herself against a muggle, because if she does then she gets in trouble. I can't defend myself against a man who shouldn't stand a chance against me, because I risk getting expelled. Lily that's wrong."

Understanding coursed through Lily at Severus's explanation. Of course, he would follow a person who could hand him a way to properly fight back against his father. Though she'd met Tobias Snape only once, she'd had enough experience with the aftermath of his "parenting" to know that she hated the man. If she were in Sev's shoes she wasn't sure how she might deal. Knowing how she'd reacted to Petunia's biting words though provided a clear enough picture.

"You're right. It is wrong. But there are better ways," Lily reasoned, hoping against hope that she might be able to reach him. "Voldemort doesn't want peace or to help wizards, he wants to destroy the world we know. He wants to rule muggles, not live with them. It's too extreme."

To her delight, Severus nodded at her words. But then… "I can't turn back on them now."

"It's not to late Sev," she pleaded, but stopped when he took her hand in his.

"I'm sorry Lily, but it is. I've been working for Lucius all summer. Making potions, researching ingredients, reporting on a few ministry officials who live near here. Lily, I'm in already and once you're in… there's only one way to leave the Dark Lord's ranks." Severus's words were cold, but there was a despondency about him that made Lily think it wasn't too late.

"Why would you help them? Why would they ask a sixteen-year-old kid to help them?" She queried.

Severus shrugged. "After the spring I didn't have much to keep me away from them. I told Lucius about my interest in a potion apprenticeship at the Ministry and he offered me something better. When he found out about the officials who live close by, he thought it would be a good opportunity for me. Lucius cares."

Despite her dislike of the youngest Malfoy, Lily couldn't disagree with Severus. Malfoy had always looked out for her friend, something she'd secretly been grateful for at one time. But now that she realized just how twisted that relationship had become, she was seriously considering hexing the blonde buffoon to oblivion.

Taking a deep breath, Lily asked the question she'd been most dreading. "Is this what you choose Sev? Because if you decide to follow him, I can't support you. I don't want to lose you, but I refuse to condone that maniac's actions."

The two friends locked eyes as they decided where their loyalties lied. Not for the first time, Lily could feel the ever-widening gulf that separated them. A line appeared in Severus's brow as he contemplated Lily's declarations.

Severus chose his next words with extreme caution and care. "I don't want to lose you either Lily. You're the best part of my life." Lily felt her heart soar at that admission, only to have it swiftly hit the ground with his next words. "But I don't think I can back out. Even if I wanted to, I can't leave."

"But you want out?"

"If the cost of following the Dark Lord is your friendship… that's not a price I'm willing to pay. But I can't back out. They'll kill me."

"We'll hide then, I won't let them hurt you either."

For the first time that day something close to a smile crossed Severus's face. "There's no hiding from him."

Lily knew she sounded desperate as she threw out every possible solution to their problem, but he met every attempt with a logical answer. They were doomed to fall apart it seemed. However, even in the darkest of places light could always be found.

"Dumbledore," she exclaimed excitedly. "We got to him, he'll know what to do."

"Dumbledore hates me," Severus sneered. "He won't help me."

"He doesn't hate you Sev," responded Lily. "You're a student at his school. He'll help you. Especially if I go with you."

"Lily," he started to rationalize, but she wasn't about to listen to an excuse this time.

"No, it'll work Sev," she said with all the confidence she didn't feel. "It has to work. If this is what you really want, then there's only one path left for us. We'll go as soon as we get back."

"Lily-"

"Please, Sev. Please let's just try."

It seemed that in the face of her desperate pleading, he couldn't refuse. Pulling her into another hug, Severus nodded. "Okay we'll try."

 _A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments/ reviews below. I left this one a little open ended, just in case I want to come back to it. Originally, I had a very different ending in mind, but these two decided that they wanted resolution instead and who am I to argue with the characters. That being said, if the mood strikes again, there could be a continuation of this story. Until then though, see you in the next story._


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